I know you’re still watching me

Yes, I know you’re still out there watching me and reading every word I write. Even though you’ve probably learned by now that using proxy servers shows up and that privacy is a matter of technical skill. But even that causes patterns and those patterns show up eventually and they look just like you.

Now that I know there are people like you in the world I will never again be naive enough to think you would just go away. That’s not part of your damaged mind. You have to look. You are compelled to keep coming back to see what’s happening in my life.

My response to your persistent and twisted behavior has become lukewarm, but I remain aware of your dysfunction because people like you never change.  

So I will keep reminding the survivors to never become complacent with your absence. You don’t have to be terrified, just be aware and keep moving forward and living the good life you are meant to live. Make those healthy boundaries and keep them strong.

I will continue to write about how much better I am today because of people just like you, but also because of the many survivors that bravely trudge through the muck people like you leave behind and build something beautiful and worthy from it.

Yes, we all know you’re still out there watching us and while some folks might be angered or annoyed, I mostly just feel sorry for you. In the beginning I watched you when I thought I needed to be vigilant in order to protect myself from you. My friends nervously watched you in the beginning too, because they were protective of me. But I stopped watching you a long time ago. I’d rather not know what you’re doing because I don’t want to know. I think it’s creepy and mostly I just really don’t care. Even if you try to hurt me now, I won’t know about it and if I find out, it won’t hurt me anymore.

You can’t hurt me anymore. In order to hurt me, I’d have to care about you and I don’t.

They watch us. Long after the control and the mind games, the smear campaigns and the hunting and the gathering of the flying monkeys, they will still watch us. It’s part of their pathology and it’s not something they can easily stop doing. They can’t help it.

What can we do?

We can keep living the good and healthy life we have now. That is what we can do.

About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice, Personal Boundaries Primer and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to I know you’re still watching me

  1. April says:

    I have time to read again! Ahahahahaha! This is very well put Madeline. I still deal with this kind of fear from time to time, but you’re right. Just living well is really the only way to move past it.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Reblogged this on Sagesse :|: Oblige and commented:
    “I hear hugs” ~Madeline Scribes
    …and although my heart fluttered for a moment, wondering whenwherewhyhowtowhatextent they would pop up next, I’m no longer afraid. (2 Tim. 1:7)

    Liked by 1 person

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