Of course I’m the problem!

In an effort to belittle me someone said to me one day, “Your in-laws hate you and you speak to only a handful of your own family members. Haven’t you considered that you’re the common denominator here and that the problem is yours and not theirs?”

My response was swift and to the point.

Of course I’m the problem! Once I saw the pattern of mental abuse and torture that had been the dysfunction in both families for decades, I rebelled. That was, and always will be, a huge problem for them because I am not someone they can control and manipulate anymore. I refuse to allow anyone to abuse me in such a manner just so I can sort of feel like I might belong to their twisted idea of a family. I am intelligent and have a lot of love in my own heart and the love I also have for myself means I know I can choose my own family, so that is what I have done.

I have family that started out as friends.  

I don’t need, but more than that, I do not deserve, the anxiety I would be subjected to on a regular basis if I continued to remain in those toxic and abusive relationships with so-called family members. You might think blood is thicker than water, but it’s all the same when you’re bleeding to death.

Don’t try to shame me for my choices. Shame them for making it necessary.


About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Of course I’m the problem!

  1. Steph JS says:

    Well said. I’ve had the same issue with certain members of my family. For years they emotionally blackmailed me, was verbally abusive to me & when I dared to talk back or defend myself, it was always my fault. I finally stopped responding to the rude texts & comments & it’s stopped. The best way to deal with toxic people is to cut out the source. I now get them texting & contacting me, but I keep them seriously at arms length & contact with them feels more do-able.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Well done, I can certainly relate to this. Only wish I’d been able to be stronger when I was young x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is well said. The blanket defence of family life is dogma-driven. Families are great when they work but toxic when they don’t.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. speak766 says:

    Great post and so very true. Good for you for knowing what you deserve and not settling for less. Wishing you the best

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: Author Interview – David M. Kelly – Mathematics of Eternity & Dead Reckoning And Other Stories (Sci-Fi/Fantasy) | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

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