In an effort to belittle me someone said to me one day, “Your in-laws hate you and you speak to only a handful of your own family members. Haven’t you considered that you’re the common denominator here and that the problem is yours and not theirs?”
My response was swift and to the point.
Of course I’m the problem! Once I saw the pattern of mental abuse and torture that had been the dysfunction in both families for decades, I rebelled. That was, and always will be, a huge problem for them because I am not someone they can control and manipulate anymore. I refuse to allow anyone to abuse me in such a manner just so I can sort of feel like I might belong to their twisted idea of a family. I am intelligent and have a lot of love in my own heart and the love I also have for myself means I know I can choose my own family, so that is what I have done.
I have family that started out as friends.
I don’t need, but more than that, I do not deserve, the anxiety I would be subjected to on a regular basis if I continued to remain in those toxic and abusive relationships with so-called family members. You might think blood is thicker than water, but it’s all the same when you’re bleeding to death.
Don’t try to shame me for my choices. Shame them for making it necessary.