Dealing with bitter people can be exhausting, if you let it be. Bitter people resent your good fortune, your life and just about everything about you, and they let you know it. Yes, they let you know it, usually in a passive aggressive way. They are not fun people to have around.
So how do you deal with a bitter person in your life?
I decided to start my research by Googling some good quotes on bitterness. Here’s some of the ones I found;
“Bitterness imprisons life; love releases it.”
~Harry Emerson Fosdick
“I know from personal experience how damaging it can be to live with bitterness and unforgiveness. I like to say it’s like taking poison and hoping your enemy will die. And it really is that harmful to us to live this way.”
“Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love.”
“Before you give someone a piece of your mind, make sure you can get by with what is left.”
Essentially, you’re dealing with someone that has made you their object of obsession. They have loved you so much that now they hate you for it. They hate you for their disappointment, their shortcomings, and their own loneliness. They want to hurt you as much as they hurt themselves.
The problem is whether or not you even care. Oftentimes the object or target of bitterness has moved on in their life and past this bitter person for a reason. No amount of jabs and pokes will ever reach them because they’re beyond being affected anymore. But if you have a bitter, angry person in your life making waves, there are ways and means for you to protect yourself from their wrath.
The first thing you have to realize is this person is in a great deal of pain. It’s pain the voices in their own heads inflict on them. They have no idea how to deal with it, or take ownership of it, except to blame it on someone else. It’s a sign of entitled immaturity or malignant narcissism;
“YOU MUST LOVE ME BECAUSE I AM ENTITLED!!!”
In reality, no one is entitled to your love or your attention. Those gifts are to be given freely and without restrictions, and only to the people you wish to share them with. No one is entitled to love.
You are not responsible for their pain, their bitterness or their resentment. Those are all feelings they have created in their own heads and they alone have manifested them and they must own them. It is their own childish outlook on the human condition that makes them believe someone else is responsible for the way they feel and until they mature, they will never grasp that concept.
The only thing in life you are responsible for is your own happiness.The actions of someone else do not have magical powers that can make you unhappy. You don’t need for someone to make you happy. If you aren’t happy in your own heart, no one will ever do that for you.
You can’t fix them.
They have to fix themselves.