The other day I received a comment on one of my most popular posts about those *cough*lovely*cough* personality disordered people many of us just can not understand, or get away from. It was a long and detailed comment and one that took me a few days to respond to because it jammed jangled me to my bones. I have edited it down to the bloody marrow here, but if you’d like to read the comment in it’s entirety, you can find it on Telling Your Side versus a Narcissistic Smear Campaign
I encourage you to read the comment because it breaks down and describes exactly what happens when you rebel against someone that has a Cluster B personality disorder. I swear they must share some kind of genetic GPS mapping system! I also applaud the moniker the writer has chosen because, People, the personality disordered that walk among us have surely had enough of our time, our joy and happiness, our peace and our futures. This soul is showing how ready they are to move on. They’ve had enough and now they’re ready to battle.
Clearly, I have some “victim stench” that draws bullies to me. A friend who was also bullied when she was young says it’s because I have the qualities these disordered people lack, but I think it’s some behaviors I learned as a child that are still there. With every passing year, I become more and more withdrawn and isolated because it seems like I can’t have more than superficial relationships without somehow giving away my status as a bully magnet. I also live in a place that seems to attract a lot of disordered people and in a culture that allows and even promotes bullying. Any information about making yourself less of a target would be appreciated. Short of just not having relationships, I don’t know what to do. I find myself saying, “I hate people” a lot these days, and I don’t like it.
My response is one I hope you’ll also read because it carries the weight of experience and heartbreak. The truth is this; people that execute smear campaigns are not redeemable. Walk away from them and never look back. People that listen to smear campaigns are not your friends, probably never were your friends. Smile and nod when you see them, then walk away from them and never look back.
This is the truth.
This is my truth.
This is your truth.
I carried the victim stench of many failed connections simply because I had no personal boundaries. I never realized the parts of all of those painful hours wondering why someone would want to hurt me so badly, were something I had complete power and control to change.
You have that power too.
All those sad people saying bad things about you and trying to make you miserable, isolating you, shunning you. Those people come from a place of fear. They’re afraid of your light and of your potential. They know you’re better than they could ever hope to be! To make themselves feel better, they try to tear you down. Shake your head and laugh. You have better things to do.
Removing victim stench may take some time, but it eventually disappears. I promise. As you continue to heal and make better choices, your old skin will shed and you’ll be a brand new and much stronger person for having had this experience. Much love to you from me in the meantime!! ❤
It really is this simple. Now go out there and set some personal boundaries, walk away from drama queens, don’t listen to gossip and spend your time around the people that have genuinely loved you, no matter what.