It has been the year of exits for me and some of my *cough*friendly*cough* connections. Being the bitchy one that calls a person out for behaving like a jerk and then walking away from them because I just don’t want to deal with anymore of their drama, is not an activity I enjoy. I don’t know of anyone that enjoys that. It’s exhausting and debilitating.
Even when I have a nice, quiet egress from someone that turns my stomach sour with their histrionics and machinations, I still end up grieving and saddened that it had to happen. It is also frustrating to know that I made another bad choice in picking the person I was going to spend my time with.
Why does this keep happening?!
Why it happens is irrelevant. Life happens and people will come and go no matter how picky we try to be. You are just never going to know someone, until you get to know them. It’s kind of like cutting open a watermelon, or biting into a peach. Some days they’re deliciously ripe and wonderfully sweet, and other days you get a rotten sourpuss. But you keep eating fruit, right? You keep trying until you find the perfect one, or one that’s close enough, one that’s good for you, that you can enjoy.
I told one of my friends recently that I was starting to worry that perhaps I have stopped liking people. Can you imagine that? What can you do when you lose your enthusiasm for human beings? What if I’m supposed to live out the rest of my life as this mean, bitchy old woman that tells everyone to fuck off? She laughed and said that I wasn’t a mean, old woman and that I was finally figuring out where my personal boundaries are. She said if I have to tell someone to fuck off, I probably won’t miss them.
I guess what that really means is you eventually realize that you can look forward to a lot more happiness and a lot less drama once you finally start to know who YOU are.
Until next time, this is Madeline Laughs and I’d like to dedicate this post to my friend Trish, who knows who she is and can spot a good friend from thousands of miles away, on a sandbar in the Atlantic Ocean.