One of the sage pieces of advice given to folks that take things personally is to try to be so busy that you don’t have time to think about it, or to care. I think this is excellent advice.
How exactly are you supposed to get that busy?
- If you are still in the employed field you can concentrate more on your work.
- Find out if there are ways you can pursue advancement in your chosen profession.
- Take on projects for extra credit.
- Join clubs.
- Do charity work and help others.
- Work on your home by redecorating.
- Organize your closets and drawers.
- Plant a garden.
- Visit your family.
- Find a hobby like making jewelry or felting.
- Put on your headphones and listen to a podcast.
- Learn a new recipe.
- Listen to music.
- Ride your bike!
- Workout! Use the gym as therapy!
- Take better care of yourself.
- Buy a coloring book.
- Make art!
- Do yoga.
The list is actually endless. There are so many other constructive activities you can use to occupy that part of your brain, instead of worrying about the person that might not like you. I can guarantee they aren’t giving you a second thought because they are busy too.
What would the world be like if no one ever took anything personally?
Maybe the world would look like Holland. I have always had the impression of the Dutch that nothing can get under their skin. I’m not talking about the folks that have a Dutch ancestor or two. I’m referring to the lovely people that reside everyday under those perpetually gray skies that are always threatening rain.
The Dutch people I have had the pleasure of connecting with all seem so focused on the task at hand. They love their work and get very involved in making their profession a part of their everyday life. A job is not simply something you do and then go home. Their work is meant to make them fruitful and full. Many of the companies there offer team building and counselling so an employee has every opportunity to advance and to become a more rounded individual and vital part of their society.
My point here is that many of the Dutch people I have met during my travels are happy people, though reserved in the beginning. They are thoughtful in their relationships with people and demonstrative only after a time getting to know someone. They don’t jump feet first into anything.
They know their value, their worth, and they know when to spend those emotional dollars and when to save them up for a rainy day.
They are also busy people. They work hard to make a difference and a contribution to their country. They keep immaculate, organized homes and yards. The living conditions of the average Dutch citizen are a source of comfort more than pride and everything in a household has a place and a purpose.
They plan vacations that center around family and getting closer to one another. That’s why RV camping is such a huge activity there. What better way to get to know your family than to travel the countryside in a very small camper?! There are spas and retreat camps that are available for the sole purpose of recharging. That way they can go back out into the world a more rested and hopefully more focused citizen.
Dutch culture is not about the dollar…um, gilder, errrrr, kroner? grrrr…Euro! It is more about the people and living their best life possible.
That’s an Aha! moment right there. When you are so busy living your best life, there isn’t time for anything as trifling as what other people grumble over. Let them grumble! You have bigger and better fish to fry!
In learning to not take things personally we know that our view of ourselves is really the issue here. In order to begin the journey we must consider how much of our own power we are giving away to people that have no investment in us. In the end, the only person we can count on for sure, is ourselves. Why not make an investment in YOU? Spend your time like it’s money and redecorate your heart, your mind and your soul so that when you think of a place of refuge, solace, serenity and peace, you think of yourself as that sanctuary.
Once we have opened that table for discussion and reflection, the next thing to think about is what we actually believe. What do you believe about yourself? Do you think you’re not worth it sometimes? Because we all feel that way occasionally. It’s okay to have an off day, or even an off week, so long as we can pick ourselves back up and start fresh. There’s no such thing as too many do-overs! Besides, who’s counting?!
When hearing the gossip or being subjected to someone’s lousy attitude begins to get to you, always remember that they are the ones gossiping about you and they are the ones with the bad attitudes because they are unhappy with themselves, they don’t have enough to keep them busy and you look like a great target because you’re living a life they probably wished they had.
It isn’t about you feeling superior to them. It’s about you realizing that your life is the one you need to be concerned with, not theirs. Your life is what matters and that is something worth believing in.
I am guilty of harboring resentment for others. It’s not a great habit. I allowed people to hurt me and then spent a lot of time hating them for doing something I allowed them to do. How different would life be for me today if I had never allowed them to hurt me, but rather allowed myself to grow and learn from the lesson they were teaching me?
“The highest activity a human being can attain is learning for understanding, because to understand is to be free.”
~ Baruch Spinoza, a Dutch philosopher