I would say it’s interesting watching a narcissist do battle with the person they are intent on abusing, if it wasn’t such a waste of time and energy. That’s the only way you can look at the person so hellbent on twisting the facts of what really happened and why and how the person they picked to abuse that day simply cut their losses and left.
A narcissist will take everything they know about you and use it to promote their “story” while continuing to hurt you. They want you to engage. It’s the only way they know how to have a relationship or a friendship with anyone. They will always want more. More drama. More arguments. More turmoil. More of whatever energy you have left, they want it. If you won’t be friendly or loving and go along with them then they will settle for the ugly parts and be thrilled to abuse you that way.
A narcissist will never heal.
But you can heal once you break the bond and stop participating in the cycle. It’s easy enough to do.
- Walk away from the drama.
- Do not engage.
- Do not go back to check on what they’re doing.
- Erase as much of their infiltration into your life as possible. You will be shocked once you realize how many different areas they were watching and following you. I found one narc that even signed up for notifications from my eBay account without my knowledge, and she had never bid on or bought anything from me! Creepy!
- Spend time with friends that lift you up and around people you know you can trust.
- Don’t worry about the people the narc engages. Let them figure out what’s happening. Give your friends credit for being intelligent enough to recognize unhealthy behavior when they see it.
- Do not use social media as a weapon against the narc or as a platform to plead your case. That is not what social media is for. Use your social media to engage in healthy, life-affirming and positive behaviors and to reinforce your healing goals, not to drag yourself and everyone that follows you and your friends, through the mud. Using social media is something a narc will do as they strive to convince everyone of their victimhood. The reality is they are simply proving how abusive they can be.
There are so many other things you can be doing once you walk away from the abuse of a narcissist!
Instead of moping around I woke up the next morning and decided to explore the new city I was in. I found a wonderful market and loaded up on fruit and snacks. I visited a bookstore and browsed the new titles and then walked another block to find a recycled fashion store and scored a designer handbag for cheap! I made reservations at a recommended local restaurant and simply marveled that I was absolutely fine with the decision I made to let go of the person that had abused and threatened me.
You do not need this person that has chosen to abuse you.
You will be just fine without them.
Instead of feeling frustrated because the narc continues to stoke the flames of the fight they started, why not break out of the pattern of overthinking and worrying to do something that feels good? Do something that makes your life improve now that the turbulence has calmed and you are free to move about the cabin. What are some of the activities you can think of?
- Visiting friends and family
- Yoga or working out
- Walking on the beach
- Hiking a mountain trail
- A spa day! Give yourself a facial or book a massage!
- Drawing, coloring or doing crafts to share with your friends.
- Close your eyes and simply breath
The world is yours to do with however you please. Now get out there and make it a special day! You deserve this healthy time so make the most of it.