“how to win against a narcissistic smear campaign”


One of the Search Terms for my blog was this:

“how to win against a narcissistic smear campaign”

Sometimes I wish I could privately respond to these people searching for answers, but alas, I cannot. So I will write this post and add those tags so that anyone wanting to know how to win against a Narcissistic Smear Campaign can get the answers they seek.

The answer to that question is that you can NOT win that fight. In fact, there are NO winners there. Not the Narcissist waging war, not the people/flying monkeys that participate and certainly not the person being victimized and bullied.

Everyone loses.  

The best thing you can do for yourself is to cut your losses and walk away. Don’t ever look back because Narcissists never get better and they never change. To go back or try to win is setting you up for even more heartache.

What happens when you try to beat the narcissist at a game they’re experts at playing?

  • You open the door for them to abuse you even more.
  • You give them ammunition to use against you.
  • You make yourself crazy.

What can you do for yourself once you become the object of a Malignant Narcissist in a smear campaign?

  • Cut off all contact.
  • Do not call, email, visit or send messages of any kind.
  • Do not retaliate. The more you try to defend yourself, the more they’ll malign you to others.
  • Beware the “concerned mutual friend” that wants to help or mediate. They are just looking for drama and are most likely what I like to call “a flying monkey”.

Concentrate on yourself.

  • How are you feeling?
  • Do you need extra attention and assistance to recover from this abuse?
  • Are you taking care of you?

The stronger you are mentally and physically, the quicker you can get on with life without the hurtful and abusive behavior of the Narc.

  • Do NOT go and look!
  • Do not check out their social media posts.
  • Do not ride by their house.
  • Do not have friends spy on them to find out what they’re doing.

I know this sounds awful and who would do that, but someone that is living in fear becomes hypervigilant and watching is a way to feel secure. Except watching is not healthy and it doesn’t guarantee you any kind of security. It also steals precious moments away from you that could be spent doing something that makes you happy.

You might believe, and you might even be told, that the Narc will get bored, or tired, or they will find another victim, and go away, but they won’t and they don’t. They will always be a Malignant Narcissist and you will always be someone they freely attack whenever they see an opportunity.

Don’t react to their taunts. Unless they are breaking the law or physically causing you harm, ignore them. They aren’t worth the mental anguish and they do not deserve to steal your power.

If you want be a winner, you have to start loving yourself enough to know that walking away from that fight is the best thing you can do for YOU. That’s what makes you a winner.

You can find this and many other entries about living with and recovering from narcissistic abuse in my book, Life After the Narcissist written by Katy Shultz. Available on Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble.com and all fine retailers.

About Madeline Scribes

A writer with a sense of humor. If anyone can laugh at life, it's me.
This entry was posted in All kinds of Advice, Personal Boundaries Primer and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to “how to win against a narcissistic smear campaign”

  1. ylleamme says:


    Liked by 1 person

  2. silkred says:

    in this you describe the general principle of recovery from a narcissist…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dee says:

    My ex just did this to me. Big time. One of the worst experiences of my life. He’s making himself out like the victim, and telling my friends, (who I intentionally kept away from him), that I’m “dangerous”, hurting innocent people. Projection at its finest. Literally, saying he loved me in txt, while txting my friends the next second spreading private things about me I told him in confidence. It was awful. And… I gave up trying to explain to everyone that it’s exactly what he wanted. He ‘won’. And haven’t heard from two of my friends since. Thank God I have a supportive family who told me they can all go ‘scratch’, and that if that’s how my friends are going to be, I’m better off without. I agree. And I’ve been dealing w this abuse for years, always hoping, giving the benefit of the doubt, then getting stabbed in the heart, over nothing. And, hate to admit, many times. He was out for blood this time. Blessing in disguise, because now, I’m definitely happy to move on and finally be happy (and make new friends). Changed my phone number, and he got a harrassment charge. Buh-bye Narc.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. MG says:

    Thank you for this! Ordering the book. Walked away many years ago from a narcissistic mother and the flying monkeys of other family members and her friends. Not sorry at all to have walked away but it is deeply painful. Staying would have been multi-times more painful. Grateful for all the help I have had in the journey!

    Liked by 1 person

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