the Elephant in the room

Have you ever wondered why full grown elephants can be held captive by a small chain on a stake in the ground? Adult elephants in the wild can rip huge trees out of the ground, roots and all, but here are these massive beasts being held captive by a small chain on a stake.  Continue reading

Posted in All kinds of Advice | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments

a Ticket to ride The Crazy Train

stocksnap_rs57h9qf73

I mention the Crazy Train often in some of my posts. I want to talk for a moment about exactly what the Crazy Train is.

The Crazy Train is a transparent, narcissistic, lying piece of turd sociopath that is charming and funny, yet causes so much drama and intrigue that you just can’t resist hopping on their train, just to see where they will take you.

One of my friends told me that she loves to ride the Crazy Train, but she always gets off before it becomes a train wreck.   Continue reading

Posted in All kinds of Advice, Personal Boundaries Primer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Making a clean getaway

That moment when you realize you’re in the presence of a malignant personality, and you make the decision to bow out quietly and make a clean getaway, is probably one of the most naive moments you’ll ever have.

So you think you can just fade away into their past, unscathed?

WRONG!   Continue reading

Posted in All kinds of Advice, Personal Boundaries Primer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Eeny, meanie, miney…you’re a sociopath!

For months I operated on the fear of getting sucked back in by liars and even worse…sociopaths. It got so bad that the least little deviation someone took from acting like, what I considered, normal, I would immediately label them Sociopath.

It didn’t take long before I was surrounded by Sociopaths!

HOLY CRAP!

HOW HAD THAT HAPPENED?!

Hmmmm…Wait a minute.

That’s when I had to step back a bit from the judgey-table and turn the observant eye on myself.   Continue reading

Posted in All kinds of Advice, Personal Boundaries Primer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

is there a difference between No Contact and a Narcissistic Silent Treatment?

No Contact is very good advice given to victims of a malignant narcissist or a sociopath. It simply means no contact, of any kind, with the person that has been abusing you. It is a way to eliminate the abuser’s access to you.

Someone asked me a while back what the difference was between No Contact and a Narcissistic Silent Treatment. They didn’t think there was one and were sure that they equaled the same behavior. The blank stare I gave them was probably perplexing, but while sorting through that question in my own brain, I just could not fathom how they reached that conclusion.

Yes, there is a huge difference!   Continue reading

Posted in All kinds of Advice, Personal Boundaries Primer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Stop Trying

normal reaction

When you become the target of a Narcissistic Smear Campaign, it can be confusing on many levels. There are so many questions you have and the narcissist is counting on you not being able to get any answers. They enjoy your constant state of hypervigilance and they want you to feel like the world is against you.

They spend every waking moment when they are in the throes of a campaign, just like a politician. They’re out there seeking votes and they’ll get those votes at any price. Integrity, Loyalty and Pride are no longer on the table.

“You wanna be my friend on Facebook?! Well, here’s what it will cost you!”   Continue reading

Posted in All kinds of Advice, Personal Boundaries Primer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

“how to win against a narcissistic smear campaign”

living-well

One of the Search Terms for my blog was this:

“how to win against a narcissistic smear campaign”

Sometimes I wish I could privately respond to these people searching for answers, but alas, I cannot. So I will write this post and add those tags so that anyone wanting to know how to win against a Narcissistic Smear Campaign can get the answers they seek.

The answer to that question is that you can NOT win that fight. In fact, there are NO winners there. Not the Narcissist waging war, not the people/flying monkeys that participate and certainly not the person being victimized and bullied.

Everyone loses.   Continue reading

Posted in All kinds of Advice, Personal Boundaries Primer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments