Guys that Fart for laughs

One afternoon I was having a serious conversation about work with a male colleague on the telephone when he started cackling loudly. I stopped speaking and asked “What’s so funny?” He replied “I just farted and you didn’t hear it!” and he laughed some more. I don’t think I spoke for a few beats. I was in mild shock. I had not been exposed to this kind of humor since grade school and here was a man in his 40’s, farting for humor.  Continue reading

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CrAzY mAkInG pEoPlE

that'll be 5 cents please!

that’ll be 5 cents please!

If you were ever caught up in the middle of someone in the process of executing crazy making behavior on you, it’s one of the most befuddling situations you will ever be subjected to.

Crazy making behavior is just what it sounds like. It’s someone trying to make you crazy, or keep you unbalanced and confused, so they can manipulate you. It’s not fun or funny, in fact, it’s diabolical and incredibly damaging. If you’re still unsure what this kind of behavior looks like, I’ll share some examples.

My mother in law used to tell me to my face how much she loved me, but behind my back she told everyone else how much she hated me. When I would ask her about it she would deny that she ever told people that, but I knew she was.

Her motivation is rooted in the fact that she can’t control me and it makes her angry. She can’t just love me for who I am, she needs to control me. She wants to know where I am and what I’m doing at all times and she doesn’t want me to be friends with or spend time around anyone but her. I don’t cooperate, so she tries to isolate me by assuming that her gossip will turn others against me. I guess it makes her feel like she’s in control of something to use gossip as a way to isolate me.

I can’t control what she does. I can only control how I react to it and that’s the first step to walking away from crazy making behavior. You have to realize that the only way they can make you crazy is if you allow it. It’s true what they say; what you allow will continue.

That being said, I also don’t have time for folks that play into the drama by maliciously repeating the gossip. I am totally transparent and happy to answer any questions. But if you just want to spread the word to everyone else, then you might be a Crazy Maker too.

The second thing you need to come to terms with is if someone is doing this to you, this is abuse.

You are being abused.   Continue reading

Posted in All kinds of Advice, Personal Boundaries Primer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Is that a reliable source?

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I don’t take anyone’s Word for it anymore.

And why should I?

Why should you?

In an uneven, out of balance world filled to the brim with liars and false prophets, people out to make a buck while climbing the social ladder or the career mountain, why would anyone trust what someone says to them anymore? Some folks are simply intrigued by whether or not they can make you believe them!

So what keeps all of us from becoming cynical, jaded and isolated?   Continue reading

Posted in All kinds of Advice, Personal Boundaries Primer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

when you see the Narcissist’s Mask slip *gasp!*

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The first time I saw the narcissist’s mask slip I second guessed myself that it was probably an optical illusion. I ended up cheating myself out of that AHA-Moment of knowing that I have finally mastered the art of seeing a narc’s mask slip right when it’s happening.

When it happens and that mask slips, you can see the dark hole just beyond the surface of someone that has totally forgotten the story they spun just for you, by letting you hear the exact same story they had spun for someone else, as if you never existed. Then everything they ever said to you that had any impact at all comes into that questioning light. Was any of it real? Did you mean anything of substance that you’ve ever said to me?   Continue reading

Posted in All kinds of Advice, Personal Boundaries Primer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Keeping Score and losing the game

Image by Madeline Laughs

Do you have a friend that keeps score? Or are you someone that keeps score? Keeping score goes something like this…

“Well, I paid our way to the movies last time, so she owes me lunch.”

“He didn’t buy me a gift last year, so I’m not getting him one this year!!”

“The government is making the cost of gas high, so I’m going to cheat on my taxes this year.”

This is called keeping score and most of the time people do it because they are clueless that it’s happening.  Continue reading

Posted in All kinds of Advice | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

to Redneck, or not too Redneck

I have a friend in California that thinks that because I live in North Carolina, I’m a chain smoking, fried food eating, racist rebel flag flying Redneck. She starts sentences with “People in the South…” and there’s usually some belittling description tacked on at the end.

She thinks we’re all pretty darn ignorant.   Continue reading

Posted in All kinds of Advice, Just thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Talking and Driving is bad

Say this to yourself everyday

I sat at the stop light the other day and counted the number of people talking on their cell phones. Almost everyone I could see, except one gentleman, had their arms glued to their ears yakking away. Then I noticed he was in the car alone but carrying on with a serious look on his face…he was wearing an earpiece. Out of all of these drivers I felt safest sitting next to him. At least he had both hands on the steering wheel.  Continue reading

Posted in All kinds of Advice, Just thoughts | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments